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Canton Mill Lofts Residents Enter 5th Day Without Water, 100-Year-Old Pipe Declares Itself “Retired”

CANTON, GA – Life at the Canton Mill Lofts has turned into a real-life episode of Survivor after a 100-year-old water pipe decided it had worked long enough and clocked out—leaving more than 300 tenants without running water since Wednesday morning.

Originally told the outage would last “8–12 hours,” residents are now on day four of dry faucets, unflushable toilets, and personal hygiene routines that include baby wipes and prayers.

Management has attempted repairs twice, both times with about as much success as duct tape on the Titanic. “We’re shooting for Monday now,” they said, in a tone that didn’t inspire confidence.

To ease tensions, staff handed out bottled water, tacos, pizza, and eventually rolled in a water truck so tenants could at least flush their toilets—an event described by one resident as “like Woodstock, but stinkier.” Rent discounts have been offered, but many say that doesn’t quite cover the price of deodorant, extra candles, and the friendships lost over bathroom-related feuds.

Meanwhile, the century-old pipe remains unapologetic. Sources close to the infrastructure say it’s “tired of carrying the weight of modern civilization” and just wants to “rest in rust.”

Tenants are calling for more serious support, such as hotel coverage or deeper rent breaks, but for now, the building continues to operate as an unintentional off-grid experiment.

Or, as one frustrated resident put it: “I didn’t sign up to live in a history museum. Somebody replace that antique before we all start churning butter.”